~Saffith

I'm ready for school to start back up again. I need a distraction from what's going on in my life right now. This past week has been so head throbbing that I don't know what to do anymore.
Riddle died, which was probaly the hardest burial I've ever had to go through. He was so amazing, and so full of personality that my day feels empty now without him sitting on my shoulder, or happily munching away at his popcorn.
And it makes me so angry just thinking about it, because my mom wouldn't do anything about it. At the first sight of his problem, she said nothing was wrong, and refused to take him in to the vet.
Even as he got worse and worse, she refused. All I wanted was to know what was wrong, and if there was nothing we could do I at least wanted to put him out his pain. Towards the end of his life, my poor friend was starving himself, he was losing his sight and it made me want to cry anytime I looked at him.
The same thing happened with Ringo, even when we told her he was sick, and he needed to go into the vet. And once again, our pet had to suffer al becuase she was to stubborn to take them in. She thinks that just because she's a nurse she knows what to do for animals as well.
Who's next? What's going to happen when Shila, or Lola gets sick? I don't think I can handle another death.

And today, I jsut got back from my grandparents house, where I was dog-sitting for them. I brought Tocho along and we spent three days there, playing Wii, guitar hero and swimming in the lake. And yet somehow I my family managed to ruin even that for me. For whatever reason it maybe, I can't go anywhere for more then 3 days, I feel like a whiny little baby for complaining about this but it ticks me off that they expect me to respect them when the only reason they want me home is to clean and watch my siblings so that they can go out and party. They don't support a single thing I do, except for Track, and that's only because it's a sport and considered 'normal'. They throw away a ton of my art, they practically hate the fact that I'm gone at bible study for more then 3 hours. To them it's a bad thing that I love God.
My friends are the only thing I have left, and yet I feel like I'm pushing them away, because I feel so depressed lately that when I'm with them I either really pissed off or sad.
I need something to get away from all these thoughts. My art isn't helping,I can't get anything to come our right and everytime I fail to get something right I feel like I'm failing myself.

I'm not asking for sympathy here, I just needed to get all of this out and let you all know what was going on.